I am the Walrus

Im comin home agian

2008-12-20T00:29:54Z

GOD I CANT WAIT!!

at 7 am tomorrow i will be boarding a bus and heading upstate for a whole 3 weeks :)

well Xmas is comein

2008-12-19T07:30:37Z

Faster and faster the days keep ending. I have one more day here and then a 3 week vacation with my family and friends upstate. Jenn sadly could not attend this time and i will miss her dearly. I was lucky enough to see her tonight and give her a few things so she wont forget me. One was one of her Xmas gifts, A Jeff Hardy Purple Pendent on a ball chain. Jeff Hardy along with being the NEW WWE CHAMPION!! He is also her favorite wrestler and i only felt it right that she get this. She loves it so much and im so happy i was able to make her smile. I will call her on Xmas day to wish her a merry, and i will miss her everyday i am gone. She realizes that i need this break and it will only make our bond stronger. I have to walk her home sometime soon so i will cut this short and just say in one day i shall be upstate (Dont worry)

I love Jenn so much

Writer's Block: Doh!

2008-12-18T20:00:16Z

It's the twentieth anniversary of the first Simpsons episode today. Who is your favorite Simpsons character—Ralph? Sideshow Bob? Ned Flanders? An actual Simpson?

View 500 Answers

I always like the comic book guy, Snake comes in a close second.

To much fighting

2008-12-18T06:35:39Z

God there is so much fucking fighting here lately. Arnie just went to bed but before that i heard him yelling at Mary Ann and her yelling back over some stupid shit. No one can let shit go in this house can they. GOD!! i hate fighting even when i put my headphones in they still yell and it seems to get louder. Im gonna need this 3 week break this is some bullshit. Sick of it all, sick of this hostile house. I figure once Arnie figures out his job he will be better but still i cant stand this fighting. I hope while i am away things happen and make it better in this house or im going to leave.

Good day today

2008-12-16T20:10:41Z

Im going to meet up with Billy at clove lakes park and Nicole is meeting us there. Should be a great day. :)

In a good mood for once

2008-12-16T05:51:01Z

I don't know why ive been in a good mood all day long. I cant explain it but whatever it is i want it more often.

My xmas starts now

2008-12-14T23:49:14Z

Im going to get my ticket tomorrow and i plan to stay a good 2 or 3 weeks. I need to break from everything. I love my GF but shes part of my stress like all of my relationships the girl puts some sort of stress on me, Its not as bad as my past relationships but still stress is there. The family is the main cause of it, Nick has been less of a good christian boy lately so Mary Anna and Arnie have been pissed at him. So there is yelling and screaming and name calling....yes name calling from grown adults. Mary Ann keeps calling him stupid and i see how hurt he is by this. I actually gave Nick a hug and i feel bad for him. I want him to be happy no matter what he does. Mary ann claims its tough love but i dont think so.

Anyway a lot of my friends are looking forward to me coming up and im going to enjoy being with them. I cant wait to walk around in the snow and flip around the snow banks again. Oh well i will see you all when i get there

Writer's Block: Prophecy or Fallacy?

2008-12-14T23:31:07Z

Happy birthday, Nostradamus. Many people consider the prophecies of Nostradamus to be uncannily accurate, while others remain skeptical. Do you think it's possible to predict the future?

View 500 Answers

Oh im sure it is, but only i can predict what im going to do.

I am close but so far

2008-12-13T03:39:40Z

Im so close to going back to wells for Xmas vacation but im so far away. My mind is far from wells, My mind is more along the lines of how much im going to miss Jenn, on the other side i need a job. This job search is no better then wells the only problem there is i never had anyone on my ass about getting a job. If Mary Ann was more on my ass it would be sodomization. Yeah its a bad thing to think but its true, Im not one of her kids so i wont be sitting there giving her all of my fucking pay check fuck that shit. I need that money. When i get a job im going to be keeping it. I need my own place seriously.

Anyway i got part of Jenn's Xmas gift today, now i need to rethink the rest of her gift. She found out i was getting her Craddle of filth tickets and doesnt want them because they will be singing new stuff. So now i need to rethink everything. In order to get her any type of gift i need to get work at logans hopfully Kiera is asking as we speak.

seriously

2008-12-09T06:02:00Z

How can this happen to me on so many occasions? Jenn is sitting not 3 feet away from me and this is the only time i will get to see her for a week. WTF?!! this is just not right what did i do that is so wrong to deserve this. Im going away in 2 weeks for 2 to 3 weeks and i wont be able to see her, all i want to do is hold her in my arms and let her know how much i love her and i cant for another week.

HARD ROCK AND GETTING DRUNK

2008-12-08T04:13:52Z

What is it about Beer, when i drink it i need to listen to hard rock. I have rock blaring from my head phones right now im i plan on getting drunk. I cant seem to catch a break in the past coming days. The only thing i wanted for Christmas was to spend it with my GF and my family in jersey but i cant seem to get that so i said fuck it im fine with that. I figured i could at least get to have my GF come up with me but no her mother wont let her. So then i figured maybe i could see her sometime this week.....But no again i cant, i get some fucking excuss about how her mother wants her to clean. All this week i keep getting more and more pissed off, When jenn tells me she cant see me tonight i flip go up the block and get Beer. Im going to get drunk and i dont care. Yeah i know its not a way to settle my differences but i dont care. I deserve to get drunk and im going to.

Ah to return to upstate

2008-12-07T10:00:49Z

Though i may not have what i wanted for Christmas....a family holiday, Filled with the scent of Italian cooking. I will be with my immediate family upstate. I will have a chance to spend over 2 weeks there. Sadly Jenn could not be with me this time and i will have to spend our first Christmas as a couple separated. Even New years i will be with out her. Though i shall make it up to her. Little does she know im going to get her the best gift a BF has ever gotten her, She will love me for ever. Oh well its about 5 am and i should be heading to bed soonish.

I had a dream i could buy my way to heaven

2008-12-06T03:26:38Z

When i woke up i spent that on a necklace. Yeah wish i had the money to just buy anything. Christmas is coming and i have nothing to my damn name, people tell me its not about the gifts, its about the spirit and the family. Yeah but when i want to buy my GF something for Xmas i cant and as it is i cant spend it with her. Come Monday i wont have seen her for a week. It kills me, I talked to her once this week and all i want to do is hold her and tell her how much i love her and i cant. Blah something just tells me life wont work out like i planed.

I cant find anything on a job. Mary Ann told someone at her work to put my application in first so i hope it works. I need a job with money but not till after Christmas. We will see what happens

What now?

2008-12-02T23:25:10Z

My parents are not coming down for Christmas break. I can understand why, Bills and all. Still it was the only thing i was looking forward to was having a family Christmas and now i can do that. Im tired of having this all come down upon my head and hurting everyday i wake up here it hurts me. When i was upstate i realized how much i miss it all, I thought i would never miss it but i do. My parents cant have Jenn live with us because of bills but with me there i can help, one way or another i can help with bills. there's a lot to talk about, and alot to think about, its going to take alot of time. As for now im going to sit back and cry inside.

Really sad

2008-12-02T06:27:35Z

I felt like things were perfect upstate. I had my family, Friends and Jenn. I actually smiled without hesitation for the first time in idk how long. We both wanted to stay another week and were both pissed off that we came home. I know though no matter what i cant have both, she would never want to move there and my parents wouldnt want her living in the house. Why cant i get a break and have a perfect moment stay with me. I dont feel i should be here, but i dont want to leave Jenn.

I actually cried, all out tears and all. I miss my family so much and i want to have it be perfect.

WTF WWE?!!

2008-11-23T15:22:17Z

I just read on WWE.com that Jeff Hardy was found knocked out in the stairwell of his hotel room. Granted this is a work and not for real but why in gods name do they build him up just to take him down again?! Jeff Deserves that fucking title more then anyone in the WWE and no matter what they keep bringing him down. HE BEAT THE FUCKING UNDERTAKER FOR GODS SAKE!! Just give him the fucking title.

Also Edge is backstage in Boston will he play a role in Survivor Series? i hope so.

How i almost won a trip to the Bahamas

2008-11-22T19:33:22Z

I got woken up by a phone call. The women explained to me that i registered while i was at the Comic con (True) and she went through all of this and explained how i would be able to stay 3 days in Florida for 2 and 4 days in in the Bahamas, Then she said but to send out the package explaining it it would cost $500 and i could put it to a credit card.....shitty right. I said i couldn't but thank you anyway. That sucks so much ass, I was all excited and it got shattered just like that. (I just told Mary ann that it was a survey so i wouldn't have to talk to her about it)

Oh well easy come easy go i guess.

Im am so ready to go upstate to see my family, I need a vacation and wells is just the secluded area i need. I need a place i can get sleep without hearing yelling in the morning. I want to sleep till 2 without hearing Nick stumbling up the stairs. I want to be able to spend time with my GF without having to walk her home at 3 in the morning. I want to show her exactly what my life has been like for the past 5 years or so.

That and i miss my family :(

The days go by fast

2008-11-20T03:32:55Z

Its almost Monday. I'm going to visit my family for thanksgiving and its way over due. I was just talking to my friend Sam who is coming back to wells on Tuesday and we were remembering how it used to be just driving around the lake talking and vent our frustrations with each other. We would smoke cigarettes or a joint or a bowl and just vent about anything that was frustrating us its how we dealt with life in wells central school. being away from my family has taken a toll on my psyche but it has also gave me a chance to spreed my wings and expand my mind.

What i cant wait for the most is to taste the home cooked meals of my fathers lasagna or my mothers thanksgiving dinner again, GOD i missed home cooked meals with flavor. Mary ann wonders why i would rather eat at wendys then stay at home and eat. Oh well.

My brother and I were talking about my arrivle and how we will crack open a few cold ones like the old days, i think he misses that alot. He lost 2 of his best friends so quickly after one another. First Buddha left then I did and its hard for him to adjust but my coming to visit will be good for him.

My sister is really looking forward to seeing me again, to her I gusse I am still her baby brother and thats the way it will stay. I miss her to, Theres the late nights we would watch Buffy or Angel together and share a plate of nachos just talking about the most random shit.

My parents have stressed over and over again how happy they are that im coming to visit and i know it means so much to them i have hugs saved for all four of you when i come back. When i think about how much I miss them i cry, i try to hold it back but i feel it. I know what im doing is the best for me and it was something i wanted for a long time but also its hard on everyone.

Jenn is looking forward to seeing all of you guys to. She wants to meet my parents and wants to see how much Cruffa has grown. She misses Kiera alot and shes really looking forward to seeing her again. I have a day before the Felds come up so im going to get as much one on one time with my family as possible. Then i have a day or 2 after they leave to bond some more. Maybe we can all go for a trip somewhere who knows.

Mary ann and Arnie are going to Atlantic city for a few days for free so its going to be me and the boys on our own. It should be fun but it might be boring. Oh well ill leave you all now i gotta do some things.

Im counting down the days

am i really this smart

2008-11-19T06:07:55Z

Everyday goes by and i am starting to realize that i really am the smartest person in this household out of the 3 boys. Its sad really, I never took pride on being smart, in fact i really don't want to be smart. I sit and i talk to everyone in this house and have serious conversations with them and what i hear coming from there mouths is pure dribble. Nicky i can understand, I expected to be on the same mental capacity as Joe but im far from him. This is insane, i have already proven that not only am i cleaner then them but i am smarter then them.....im scared lol

Well im alive

2008-11-18T04:56:29Z

Yeah thats right i am still here on this earth living and breathing for another day. I am actually happy to be here to, its been a long time since i could actually say im happy to be alive, considering what i have put myself through over the past couple of years. On to bad news.....I still cant find a job anywhere and its pissing me off, I have lowered my funds to $100 thats all i have to go upstate with but it should be enough to get by. My parents will supply what ever food i need so i should be fine. I went out to the mall with Joe and Nick today, I figured we haven't had a guys day out in a while and i know it means a lot to Joe if i hang with him. I didn't buy anything but food, but Joe having a sears card bought me new shoes (Really needed them). I wanted to see Jenn tonight but sadly she is home with a tummy ache, oh well i will see her sometime during the week. I am so ready to go visit my family, I have been away from them for 3 months now and miss them terribly and i know especially my father misses me. This is the first time Jenn will be upstate and i cant wait for my parents to meet her. She will enjoy that a lot, She as well as I need a break from stress even though its only a week. When we bought the tickets the lady spelled her name wrong on the ticket, I hope that wont be a problem. Oh well im heading to bed soonish, I'm really tired. Good night all

Cant sleep

2008-11-13T09:51:13Z

Its about 4:45 am, i just got done reading a book about John Lennon and i cant sleep. I sat there for a good 20 mins in silence after i read the book and i just thought of everything. Mainly Jenn, she really means the world to me, Its really hard to explain it except its love. Something i said i would never experience again. Almost a year and a half ago my life was in shambles, I was drinking, smoking pot, taking almost any kind of pain killer i could and there really wasn't a day where i was sober. I stole money from my job and almost went to jail for it. I was trying to kill myself or ruin my life. To think i would have missed out on this, Ive made my mistakes and yes i still drink and smoke pot and no there is no pain killers in my future. I realize that we all take life for granted, We don't enjoy our lives like we should. We go about our lives and we never make a step to change the world. I dont know where to start but ill know when im finished, I want to make an impact and change this world as we know it.

seriously ive had it

2008-11-11T09:42:32Z

Tonight was the last straw. Jenn was over like usual and i can understand shes there almost every night because we love each others company....nothing wrong with that right? Anyway, Arnie gets so pissed off he calls me up while going to get Maryann and says to me "If Jenn isnt gone by the time i get home, Im throwing both of you the fuck out!" Where the fuck does he get off talking to me like that? Hes not my Father (even my dad doesn't say that to me) And then Maryann gives me some big 3 hour long spech about how Arnie is pissed because of losing his job. BIG FUCKING DEAL!! My parents have been through this and so have i. Im in this just as much as he is, So what he will have to start all over agian, who gives a fuck. These people are so driven by money its insane and ive had it. When uncle brian gets his place and we fix up that basement im moving out. Simple as that, I love the Felds but i cant stand them any longer. Id rather live with Anna agian. Fuck Arnie and Fuck his job, No one and i mean NO ONE THREATENS ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!!

Dad if you read this comment i wanna know what you think of this, Dont tell Maryann i posted this she has enough heart problems

sigh

2008-11-08T20:17:55Z

Once again i am stuck with shit. I have nothing to do because my job let me go and im stuck in slow mo again. Jenn seems to be the only thing i have here that really makes me happy. I miss everyone from Wells and i wish i could have you all here with me. Im probably heading to the mall to fill out applications with Jessie so im going to leave you all with this bit of adivce

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUYS HEAD!!"

didnt vote dont care

2008-11-05T07:41:33Z

See i figured that the Democrats would make a big impact this time around and yeah im happy i got to see history made with a black prez but in my own words "THAT NIGGA GONNA GET SHOT!!" I give him 2 years before he actually gets shot. Im proud and happy for the dems, and i know that our economy will get better but it wont happen till the end of the 4 years just so if Obama does make it he will get re elected

Sigh

2008-11-04T07:19:56Z

I dont know why but i feel like crying. I just feel like it and its really hard to understand